Episode 23: Dissociation- Hiding in Plain Sight
Listen in to hear Melissa and Caleb discuss how and why humans dissociate and how this ability is an adaptation of our nervous system.
Join our Patreon!
Follow us on social media:
Instagram: @beyondtraumapodcast
Facebook: @beyondtraumapodcast
Kelly
In all honesty, this “comment posting” thing is not something I do often, but listening to this podcast was so epiphany inducing that I just needed to say thank you. My son was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive type of brain cancer almost 3 years ago shortly after his 8th birthday. Needless to say, all of it—the diagnosis, the treatment, the secondary illnesses, the hospital life, the grief in letting go of present and future plans, the fear of losing him—was incredibly traumatic; however, I handled the cancer fight like an energetic warrior. It was not until he had his final (clear and cancer free) scan of the active treatment phase that I completely fell apart. This shocked me. I didn’t see it coming. While everyone was so congratulatory and the world seemed to expect me to go right back to normal life, i grew less and less capable of cognitively handling anything. Eventually I just couldn’t even organize myself enough to get ready for work in the morning or completing the most basic tasks—often zoning out and not understanding why ;which is so frightening.) . I had heard of dissociation and questioned if some of what I was experiencing fit the criteria, but after listening to this my reactions all make so much sense. I started sobbing during your discussion about shame, and how society is constructed in a way that shames us when we experience this natural phenomenon meant to protect us during times we feel unsafe. I felt such a sense of relief and a new self-compassion when you said that it’s not our fault. The experience of feeling so unsafe, weighed down by fears of recurrence (high risk with his diagnosis) and the complex process of making sense of what we went through, It’s no wonder I’m dissociating. This helps me now accept where I am, not allow myself to feel ashamed by something that I had no control over, and move forward equipped with knowledge—unburdened by the repeating question “what is happening to me?” Thank you so much.